Projects are part and parcel of learning

Everybody's patience has a limit. I have to admit, although i take jokes quite seriously, i seldom get too upset about what people say. Today was an exception.
Example:
I can bear with it when my ex-sec sch classmates gave me a weird nickname in sec three and called me by that nickname all the way to sec 4. I can bear with it when they joked about calling me a "s***" sometimes.. I can also bear with it when they joked about my favourite actor. And etc, etc.. However what someone said today really upset me.

I know some people can be frank in their own way and say things without considering other people's feelings, but I am angry and sad to have the criticism thrown into my face.. It's not as if I do not know my own weakness. I do read up on it to try to improve and I also try to ask people for help but in the end, I really do not understand a thing!! I swear it is not on purpose!! Why can't someone understand??

I was upset and my friend told me not to take it to heart when I told her about it on my way home. I tried not to cave in but in the end I cried when I got home because I find myself so useless that I cannot do a single thing right. I know I cannot depend on other people for help all the time because for all I know there may be others who might even say the same thing about me. I am tired of pretending everything is alright. I wish I can talk to someone but then I am afraid that I will cry again. I think I am really beginning to despise myself.

I still remember my ex-sec sch teacher who always believed in me told me to work hard in Poly so that I can go to uni, I am afraid that I have let her down. I am so tired of sch even though there's only 1 year left. I feel like giving up but I know I cannot.. Sigh..

wishing for the hopelessness to go away~
Anais.yfy